4:51 AM

where do you go

when i frighten you away

you see anger coursing through my veins?

i see bricks i am unpacking

you think i'll throw them at you
but they aren't for you
or from you

i'm unpacking

i don't want to drop them on your toes

or burden you with their weight

you two inspire me

to lighten my load

lighter and lighter

till i float
but not away
just free

free of bricks

does my shadow move differently to you?

Do I offer love while my shadow declares war?

what do you see?

what you say I feel, i don't

it doesn't mean i can't hear you

i just mean, no love
if you peek intto my heart

then stay for the whole show

maybe it seems like anger

when you can't see the third act

but here, inside me

it's warm with love

not hot with anger

sometimes there is anger,

sometimes there is frustration

but I don't stay there

I don't take a bath in it

I don't marinate in it

I'm trying

trying to move forward and away
searching for other feels

timidly hopeful feels

and

whenever we

the three
are together

i am a sponge

soak yous up

and do my best to not hurt my sacred yous
with old bricks

just tender touches

with timidly hopeful fingertips

so wherever you are

wherever you go

please know

i miss you

i love you

sometimes i'm clumsy

sometimes i'm deaf

sometimes i'm lame

and a lot of times i don't understand and i need you desperately to explain things to me

but i'm always
going to TRY