matches

hand me a flashlight
I go through these matches too fast
the fire tears through them
leaving my fingers broken and bloody
I stumble in blackness
nursing my wounds
groping
only finding flimsy matches
a hot moment and gone
I am running out of fingers to hold them
found a flashlight
steady and pure
it illuminates nicely
but my body grows cold
my fingers throb with burnt memories
give me a fire
where I can warm my body
and not be scared of the creatures
that sniff at my tracks
but I can't sit still
I don't know where that path leads
and this is not an oasis
it is a detour
how about a lantern
to light my way
through the forest
bright and hot
perfect to hold while wandering
to who knows where
but you can't tell in this darkness
you can't see what gives off that light
that pierces the night
till it is in your hand
burned and bloody
a lantern in my future
matches tonight
I am running out of fingers to hold them

June 6, 2000