today

tonight was the best
i might be alone
but being lonely is a choice
and I chose different
tonight

I was sitting, watching,
sipping on the best tea
in that moment it was the best

before me were four lamps
only one shining
I worked on my heart
I worked on my home
work
and my heart
and that light became one
burning bigger and brighter
warmer and lighter
till I blinked
and the second light
caught fire like the first
illuminating the night
the universe showing me
we can work together
and I can love every moment
and never be lonely again
and even as my days unfold much different then I ever expected
I can drop those expecatations
drop the shoulds
or the why nots
and just enjoy the moment
for what it is
and what I am
and what you are
and not need to ever change a thing outside of me
i can't make you love me
i can't make you talk to me
i can't make you notice me
and I don't need to ever beat myself up again for not having the kind of magic that turns your heart
but that doesn't mean it's not magic
I'm magic
no matter who sees it
or who doesn't see it
it just is
i'm the only one who can take it away
and I'm done taking it away from myself
and I'm done giving you the power to make me feel
anything less
than
magical